It's Not About Me

Life is a story.  It is the only important story.  It is the ultimate autobiography.  It is God’s story written by God, Himself.  We humans, on the other hand, tend to think that life is about us.  We tend to ask God to bless us, to comfort us, to give to us, to heal us, to give us an easy and comfortable and happy life.  When did God start owing us?  When did we become the main characters?  When did life become about us instead of God?  There are so many books, feel-good quotes, facebook statuses, etc. that focus on what God should do for us, instead of what we should do for God.  When did the story change? 

However, I do believe that at times, in the midst of God’s story, He chooses to bless us with something that we want.  He chooses to give us the desires of our hearts…not because we deserve it, not because He owes it to us, not because we are the center of the story, but because He loves us and wants to bless us.  And He wants to use that blessing to improve His story.  Giving us the desires of our hearts is not His ultimate goal.  It is just something that He likes to do sometimes while working toward His goal of bringing glory to Himself.

Well, God has blessed me richly, in order to make His story better.  As long as I can remember, I have loved children.  We have five biological children and five adopted children.  We have also had 21 additional foster children come and go over the years.  Now, with the opening of our group home in Guatemala, we have taken in 10 more children.  (I recognize that would not be blessing for many people, but for me, it is.) 

If you know me very well, you probably know that one of my greatest joys is to have a baby in my arms.  Also, if you have been around me very long, you have probably heard me say, “Why does everybody get twins, except me?!  Babies and twins, two of my longings. 

Well, in God’s story, He needed to find a temporary home for a beautiful baby girl named Esperanza.   So He chose to bless us by giving her to us.  True, Esperanza was only with us for a short time, until He took Her home to be with Him.  (I think God just wanted her all for Himself.  J)  But I feel so blessed that He chose to give her to us for her short life on this earth.  We have another "baby" girl as well.  Her name is Angelita.  She is actually 7 1/2 years old, but the size of an 18 month old and the mental age of a baby.  She is so sweet to rock and cuddle.  Ahh!  Babies in my arms again!

Then, earlier this month, God needed to find a home for a beautiful set of 2 year old twin girls, Racquel and Esther.  And, again, He decided to bless us with the privilege of being their family.  It is so nice, to once again, have toddlers running around our house--giggling, dumpling toys, smearing food all over the high chair tray, hugging and kissing.  (Don't misunderstand me; there are difficult moments as well, but so worth it!)  I do not, in any way, believe that the twins were placed with us because God thinks I am awesome or that I somehow deserve this.  I do, however, believe that in His story, these little girls needed a family, and He knew that He would get the glory if He gave them to us.

Life is NOT about me; it is ALL ABOUT GOD!  But in His infinite wisdom and love, He chooses, at times, to give me the desires of my hearts, as they fit within His plan, His story.  And when that happens, I need to give Him all the glory and the praise.  But when my desires don’t fit within His plan, it is okay.  It’s not my story that matters.  God is the author, the illustrator, the publisher, and the main character.  I am just a supporting actress, as I should be, pointing to the Star.

So for now, I want to give God the praise and glory and thanks for giving me these babies and these adorable, little twins...in addition to the other wonderful 16 children with whom God has blessed me.  Thanks, God, for letting me be part of YOUR story!  It sure is a great adventure!